Hope you're doing well

* NOTE *

I am not emo, once again.

I know a lot of you guys out there will think I am but no!

That is so over and done with.

I just like to think & reflect now.

Those that have seen me lately will know that's true. 

I hope....

This blog is a place to write out what I feel like.

Ever had moments in life that are just memorable? It could be something simple & beautiful like watching a sunrise or something traumatizing like someone you love passed away. Yeah, everyone will have gone through at least something. Lately I've been thinking, recalling back these moments. Some put a smile on my face, while some pushes me to the verge of tears. They're memories that are just plain pure that it's joyful and memories that are well, depressing. I'm sure we all go through this and it's a matter of controlling our emotions.

I remembered how my dog, Rex used to come up to me and just starts to lick me all over, how he was always so hyper active always jumping and running about, how he was always there to cheer me up when I had a rough day, how he was abandoned as a pup and my friend and I took him in....How he died in front of us. He was named Rex caused of his personality. As in T-Rex. Was rather fierce at first, always barking and trying to bite people and stuff. But became our best friend when he warmed up to us. For a year and 5 months...We've been taking care of him doing everything we would to help him grow. Helping him to get over the fact he was abandoned. We believed he knew that fact cause of the way he was always growling and trying to bite the both of us in the beginning. Luckily Rex was just a pup then and didn't had any teeth yet. We wanted to give him the love he deserves and more. Rex felt that and finally opened up to us too. Yet on that very day, some guy ran over him with his bicycle. In front Nigel and I.......

Why didn't Rex ran away.
Why didn't I pushed him away
Why didn't I do anything

I guess Nigel had the right to hate me. Rex was literally broke in two. While both our hearts shattered into a million times that.

Don't you find it ironic that how some of the past that would made you feel like you're in heaven then would be your nightmare now. Guess that line of joyful and sorrow becomes blur. But well, I guessed we all moved on. We should move on....But still, those were the times. I'm very thankful for you ever entered my life =] Will never be forgotten!





You too, I can't forget.

Dear Whatever

Just came back from work like an hour plus before. Worked for 14 hours. Zzz....Mind's dead. Work later is 12 hours. Tiring but well, at least I can sleep well at night cause my brain is really just.....Not responding. But during the 14 hours today, I thought a lot. Funny how everything I thought just linked itself back to one, same person. The person who brought back faith in me.

Two weeks.
Two weeks is all it took to fall for you.

"Dear John"
"I miss you so much it hurts"
"A lot can happen in 12 months. But tonight, you're here with me."


All these sentences sound familiar? Yeah, they're in the ads for the movie DearJohn which was released yesterday. Although yes, it would be a nice show and I would very much like to catch the show with someone, anyone. Hahas....But.........
We all got to admit that it's not realistic at all huh. Look at the people we know that have been together as an item before. What was the ending like? Joke....If staying in a country as small as Singapore and still things don't work out, how would it that a long distance relationship will?? Well, maybe it'll work out for some but those are really, really, REALLY RARE cases. Unless you're talking about the older generation. My parents met each other in Secondary school and they've been together since then. Wow. But man being man, we all would long for what we will never have or almost impossible to have stuff.





Reminisce memories of you. Memories of me. Memories of us.

Hash House Harriers!

Try to make my post short today cause I'm seriously deprived of sleep. Hadn't been having any good nights or enough sleep. So yeah....Today my Uncle went back to Perth after his long vacation from work there. He came back to celebrate the Lunar New Year with us ( my family ). Have the urge to just go with him. After he departed, went back home and catch a bit of Naruto. Then, packed my stuff and changed into running attire to go with my dad to hash run. Hash run is a gathering of runners all over Singapore, regardless of race, ethnics or age to run once a week on Mondays through harsh terrains. Such as bashing through the forest, running across a deep and wide drain and so on.

So I went there as a guest and had to pay an amount of $20 as there were drinks and food for after the run. I was the youngest there and perhaps anyone closest to my age would be a good 25 or 26. The fun about the run is that the organizers would mark out a route using chalk, tissue papers and flour before the run. And they'll purposely set some routes which leads to a dead end which means rather than running alone, we're helping each other finding the right path to take. Sadly, my dad and I were lost with 3 other Caucasian runners. All because we took a wrong turn some where and didn't know. The other runners were too far ahead cause they're all very experience runners with what seemed to me like insane stamina and speed. Luckily for us, we managed to find our way and back to where we started....Which also was the finishing point. It was a bungalow and Bukit Timah. We all clean up and changed and gather around to what they called a hash circle.

It was more like a drinking/appreciation/punishment thing to me though. They made organisers of HHH, guests LIKE ME, returning harriers and for other stupid reasons to drink. I got 3 times, my dad 4. The cup was big, like 300-400ml. The first time I got 'punished', was cause I was one of the guest. Second, was cause they thought those who were wearing the Stan Chart Marathon running attire were showing off and I was one of those. My dad too...Hahas. Then last was cause the run was cause I'm chines. All because of the run called 'China man run' in a way of celebrating Lunar New Year. In addition, you had to gulp down the beer....Fast. You'll be like standing in the middle of the circle and they'll be singing 'Why Are We Waiting', HHH style. Lols, it was tons of fun! Although the adults there are quite vulgar and told loads of sick jokes, it was still fun. Something new....Hahas!

Well, so much for making it short. Ohh well....Anyways, gonna crash now. Nights!

I am not emo, I just like to spend time alone to think & reflect.

I seriously need to save up money to get a digital camera! Been missing out too much of beautiful moments with family and friends. But then again, there's also the notebook and bike I'm trying to save up for. Guess I'm not trying hard enough. Temptations around are just too well, tempting . Need to cut down on my spending.

Anyways, was at Brenda's house yesterday for steamboat. Thanks for the invite! Went there around 5.30pm with Jian Ming. Slacked around at first then started eating when everything's settled. Well, almost everything cause when we were about to start eating, Brenda suddenly remembered she had forgotten to cook the rice. Hahas! But still, we went ahead with the dish first. Awhile later, Byron came over. More crapping and then more of Brenda's primary school friends came and then Valerie and Si Jia. After dinner, played a game as called by Brenda 'Hey Jack' and Truth or Dare. The punishment for the game 'Hey Jack' was to take a mouth of beer. Don't know why but I keep getting punished. Lols....In addition, had a Bacardi Breezer and a couple cups of Absolut Vodka mixes. No, wasn't drunk still. Left Brenda's house only at 3am and walked home after that. It was really fun! Slept at 4 plus in the morning

Woke up at 8am to prepare the presents for friends for the Lunar New Year and Valentine's. Today, invited chums over for lunch. Byron, Pamela, Yuying, Kylie, David & Leroy to be exact. Talked and joked around. After finished eating, we went down to the play ground to play blind mice. We are reliving our childhood. No matter what you say, we still had fun! Hope we'll all stay tight throughout. Then we went to vivo after having our fill of fun. Pamela and Yuying got their converse sneakers for school! Super jealous....Ohh well. Hahas....So many things to buy, yet so little money!! Byron and me then left the group to go meet Jian Ming for a show after the 2 girls got their shoes. Watched 'True Legend". One word for the show.....VIOLENT.
Quite....Disturbing. Then, went to the food court for dinner once the show ended. Had guy's talk too...Hahas. Bros for life!








Today, I thought of this....
What's the definition of satisfaction? Everyone has their own definition of that. Some might want riches & fame, while others just want a simple & happy life with their family. Some want lots of luxury stuff while others might want to trade it all away to spend time with people they love. I've come to terms to make the best of what I'm given in life. I guess I wanted too much in the past. To a point that I've been blinded by what's really important in life. We all just got to be contented with what we have. Give it our all and don't have regrets. Yeah....

Cause it's just me

Hey! Didn't post for the past 2 days now....Well, been kind of busy I guess. Kind of. Hahas. Trying not to be alone being too bored. If not I'll let my mind wonder on ridiculous stuff. But yet to fulfill that, I ended up burning a hole in my wallet. A very, very big hole. Just yesterday, spent about $40 on food and arcade. Lols, boys will be boys. In addition, the day before that I spent around $80 on movie, Popcorn combo, food & arcade. Mostly food cause I ate at a restaurant.. Sigh....I need to really save up for rainy days. Hmmm....Should lock my money some where.

So on Thursday, I went out alone cause I couldn't stand the boredom at home. Phone's been very quiet of late too so yeah, just bored to the max. Went out around 12pm to have my lunch at Seah Im Food Centre and then went to GV to get ticket to the show 'Valentine's Day'. It wasn't as nice as I thought it would be but it's still quite a nice show. I probably was the only loser there alone. Haha! Ohh well....The show was at 1555 hours so I went to Toys'R'Us to find Noel. He's working there as a swayborad promoter. I got to play with his swayboard and yay, I figured out how to play with it. Hahas, so proud. But of course, that's after falling down a couple of times. Really bad, in front of other shoppers. Lols...Luckily the floor's marble, so there isn't any scratches on my arms or hands.

Today I went back to school with the thought of retuning Byron's belt I borrowed awhile back. But being me, I was dumb to bring the wrong one. Waited for him to end band and during that time, slacked with Jian Ming, James, Puvan and Guo Hao. Byron came out, we all went for dinner. Sumo House! Okay, the food ain't exactly heavenly but....Passable. After dinner, went to arcade for more JuBeat & Max Tune. Slacked awhile again after and then went home.





I had this quite interesting conversation with friends over dinner yesterday. Talking about beliefs and religions. I was wondering....Do gods really exists? I don't mean specifically Christianity but on general. Different religions have their own gods. Or so people say. I've been raised as a Buddhist but I've been skeptical about it since recently. Like if people pray to this god to seek protection against illnesses, prosperity of wealth and smooth sailing in life, what does it mean when majority of these people don't get what they ask for. If so, there won't be any poor people, people falling sick, disasters and so on now wouldn't it? Although deep down I want to believe in something,  I don't know what I should believe. Maybe could someone help me out?.....

钟嘉欣 - 发誓

 发誓从此绝无儿戏
让爱恋随心细味
余生爱着你
如死怕忘记共谁入戏
从未到访过梦内
不过心事仍可装载
还未置身这事外
换来漫天尘埃
难道有害何以不再
全意栽花仍不开
他朝养份再多不过无力爱
仍热切在期待
令我坚守也全是你
因这段情告别明日痛悲
而你是情深亦无人比
明知爱着你
难得再共你是谁造美
如若咖啡太乏味
苦涩甘愿尝得凄美
其实你早已预备
感觉曾经垂死
从未怯避连你双臂
全意张开来高飞
即使最后你竟撑到无力气
仍愿意没逃避



Addiction!

72 tenants of prosperity!

Second day of the Lunar New year surprisingly was more happening than the first. Lols...Set my alarm for 8.30am. I woke up, turned it off and went back to sleep. When I woke up, it was already 10am. Just 15 mins before relatives arrived at my house. You guys should know how we all look when we all just woke up? Lols...Quickly went to bathe and changed to something more.....apporiate. Went out only after luch. Did tthe same old same old wishing other relatives the same old stuff over & over. Went to this relative house of mine who had a baby boy name Chase! Chase Ong...Hahas. It's super cool....Maybe he'll grow up chasing after lots of girls. =P  But anyways he's super adorable! His smile was so sweet and carefree.

After dinner, went with my 2 aunts, 2 uncles and 2 cousins to watch 72 tenants of prosperity!

The show is HILARIOUS. Reconmanded to watch. Laughed through the entire duration of the movie. It has all the Hong Kong drama stars like Raymond Lam, Boscow plus other hits like Jacky cheung. But who cares about them when the show has.....

LINDA CHUNG!! It's been too long since I've saw her face on tv or anywhere else. Hahas! She's just so pretty. Some lucky guy got to kiss her in the show too....Grrr. Lols, ohh well. Being too high. Anyways, had a good laugh. All of you should go catch it.

Shall go on to bed now, there's still visiting to do tomorrow.
Goodnight!

Appreciate

Yeah, Mood didn't really improve today. So was pretty much bored the whole day. Chatted with my aunt again today. About plans dad have of migrating to Perth a few years down. The plan seem so good now, but it's so unfair to my pals. They've had their fair share of craps coming from me. Running away from a problem while giving away them, is unfair to me and to them. I want to do something for them too.

Really want to thank them for all the times they heard me crapped on about my stupid problems, the times I've showed you guys my attitude and all the moments you guys were there to make it fun and memorable. Thanks loads, really don't know how I'll get by without you all.

Lunar New Year!

So now's officially the start of the Lunar New Year! And of course Valentine's Day. Been receiving and sending wishes to people around. My messages are sent out real slow. Guess the network's jam pack now....Anyways, want to wish my previous tutor Kong Rong a very happy birthday too! Hope you're enjoying your stay in China now! How cool is that, having your birthday on Valentine's day itself? Hahas....

Hmmm, I don't really know why but my excitement of the Lunar New Year plummets with each passing year. In addition, the visiting also becomes lesser and lesser. This year, I completely feel nothing about it. Perhaps the only thing I'm looking forward to is all the junk food I'll be able to consume in front of my parent's faces and get away with it by giving the excuse of, "Ohh, It's the Chinese New Year what." Hahas...

So for the Eve of the Lunar New Year, I did pretty much what other normal families would do. Have reunion dinner, get together and chit chat. Before the dinner, I went out to pass a gift to one of my friend and then went down to my grandma's house to pass her some stuff my parents' wanted me to give her. When I got there, I was surprised to see my aunt there too. Hahas. Because she's seldom at home either due to work of her boyfriend. She's cool though. Pretty much still fitting into the generation of my age although her age says otherwise. We caught up on each others' life. She asked me where I came from previously and I told her I met a friend to pass a gift. She kept asking who is it and I guess I should have just told her straight rather than just smiling at her which gave her the wrong idea of me having a girlfriend. On that note, she oh-so-randomly said "if you have a girlfriend, must bring and show me leh. I treat you 2 meal!"
LOL. Loss for words then.

It's now 1am  and I should really get to bed. Tomorrow's going to be a long, long day. Anyways, wishing everyone a very happy Lunar New Year and a very happy Valentine's Day!





I want to be there. To help.
Just like before. 
But what's going on now, I don't know why.
Maybe our world is just too different
But please don't rule me out yet.
Not till you've seen who I am, what I am made of.

Enough Is Enough

Okay, I'm going to just let things go. It's tiring to keep hatred, sadness and what not inside.

I guess I don't have the right to be complaining so much too cause hey, I ain't perfect too. Everyone makes mistakes. I'm no exception. I know I screwed up quite badly too. Ohh well....Forgive & forget. But hell, forgetting is so much harder. For everyone I guess...Making peace with others, and myself.

Look At Me

I wouldn't care what others have to say about me. 
How they look at me.
Judge me for all you want.


But it's when people I love, trust and respect.
It's when you don't trust me like I trust you.
It's when I don't get that respect I have for you.




It's as if we all live in different worlds now.
And I hate it.

bored bored BORED

Just came back from cycling at West Cost Park with Mason. Went down to meet him at around 5pm. Before that, was practically slacking the whole day off. Had no idea what to do AT ALL. I didn't have to go to work anymore so yeah. Clueless. Didn't want to get off the bed this morning. Hahas...I first woke up at 8.30am to pee and went back to sleep. Lol! Then I woke up at 11am but still felt tired, so went back to sleep. It was only 1 in the afternoon that I finally woke up. Hahas....Woke up to have lunch and played DS throughout. Till Mason called and asked me out to cycle with him. Yeah....While we cycled, had some serious talk in a fun way. Lols...I guess. He really got me thinking....again. Damn....

Are things really alright? Just as I want it to be?

Muttons to Midnight!

Time now is 1am. Sleepy to the max but can't sleep yet cause I just came out of the shower. Need to let my hair dry before sleeping. Shall make this post shorter. Hahas...Today opps, I mean yesterday was the end of my part time with Leroy. Shall await for my pay to enter my back account! Today we were posted to Bukit Batok. Met earlier at Chua Chu Kang for again, another Jubeat session. Serious addiction! Man, although I unlocked Bass2Bass, I suck at that song. Whereas, I almost full combo-ed Haru Haru extreme level! After Jubeat, went for lunch and reported to work.

It was rather boring. And the weather was super humid! That plus scorching sun equals killer. Leroy got split up from me too, so the only form of entertainment was my phone and DS. Didn't felt like playing any of the games on DS so listened to the radio through phone. Tuned in to 98.7, Muttons to Midnight. Super funny! The Djs were talking about some Valentine's Day stuff. I was literally out on the streets laughing out loud! Till a point that there were 2 strangers who walked by me and scolded me crazy. Hahas....Whatever man. The best part was that I was drinking water then too and chocked real bad. Coughing like mad after and I seriously thought I would die then & there.

Hmmm, seemed like I crapped too much again. Hahas....Hair's almost dry now. Ahh, what the heck. Just go on to bed.

Good night!




I've got time. I just need more patience.

Motto

Hey peeps! Here to blog again. Went to work as per norm today too. Just different location. Today was at Dover. Met Leroy at 2 at Clementi cause he didn't knew how to get to the car park. Played a few rounds of Jubeat with him anyways =P And I'm super happy! I unlocked Bass2Bass! Gonna have fun playing that song. Hahas....After that took a bus down to the car park and did the same-old-boring-thing. Luckily we have each other to eantertain well, each other! Again, talked quite a lot too. Today was actually quite slack because there weren't much cars. Played with DS while working too.

Anyways, I've figured it out. Seriously! I'll do all I can, and see if things will work out. :] Before that, I'll try my very best to prove myself. I thought of all the mottos of all the school I attended.

Primary school : Soar To Greater Heights
Ghim Moh Sec: Strive And Persevere
Clementi Woods Sec: .....Omg, I forgot what the motto is. Something something grow I think. Hahas.

So I'll strive and persevere to soar to greater heights and well....grow too!




Ohh btw, pals whom I invited over for dinner during cny period, please let me know if you'll be coming latest by well, today. Since it's already pass 12.  Thank you very much! =]

Battlefield

Home doesn't feels like home now.
At any given moment, someone will be pissed with another person.

My dad would be pissed at my sisters for doing some stupid things.
My sisters would be pissed at me for god knows what reasons.
My grandma would be pissed at the maid for not knowing how to do anything.My mom would be pissed at me for not opening up.
I'll be pissed at my parents for not understanding.
I'll be pissed at myself.

Everyday, all this takes turns. As if it's supposed to be some routine.
Seriously feel like crashing someone's else house.

Craps!

So I just came back from work like 10 minutes ago. Time now is 0010 hours. Hahas...Went to work at 3 today. Met Leroy at Ang Mo Kio and 2 plus and walked to the car park. Copied like mad. Think we both covered at least a thousand cars each today. But still, time seemed to pass by quickly. Crapped quite a lot with Leroy today. Talking about cars to girls, anime to random stuffs. Was fun! After work, went to the arcade to play a round of Jubeat. Seriously addicting, just like Guitar Hero. Then, took 166 from the interchange back home with him. Counted on the bus directory the other day and it was 50 stops! Woah....Hahas. I love long bus rides though. Alone or with someone around, it still nice. Anyways, there's still work tomorrow and I still got to bathe before I go to bed. Blog again tomorrow when I come back from work!


NIGHTS WORLD!



Hope you'll know that I'm ready to listen anytime.

Happenings

Kind of a long day for me. A bit tired now....Woke up at 8.30am, had my breakfast and prepared to go meet with Byron, Pamela, David, Kylie & Yuying to play frisbee. Hahas....It was fun. We all had a little bit of heaven, in a bottle! So after we finished, went our separate ways. I went off with Byron to his house to shower. I know it's kind of weird but yeah. Got to follow him to Funnan Digital Mall. He wanted to check out desktops while I checked out notebooks. Why are they all so expensive? That's the sad part....After that, I went off earlier as I had dinner out with my family. Was silent throughout....I was feeling guilty over something I did. I didn't had trust.

One very important factor of maintaining relationships is trust. And I didn't had that. Not enough as I claimed anyways. That had left me guilty the whole day. Yeah, I'm really sorry about that. I should, and I will change! I give you my word. I know I'll be able to prove to you, and the rest of what I can really be.

So just got back home from out with friends. Leroy, Byron & JianMing. Bought my Chinese New Year clothes already...Some shit happened at first and I was quite upset over it but got over it. Still managed to joke and laugh with them. Overall had fun, hahas. After they all decided to go home, I went to Vivo. Wanted to be alone for awhile and....had the craving for playing Guitar Hero. Haha. Played a few rounds of it. I got better from the last time! Could play Yellow on medium. Random...After that, went to sit at a corner of the sky garden. Thought of stuff, loads of it I don't quite comprehend.

Change. Something that is always happening around everyone. Some of it fast, some of it slower. But yeah, then again it's up to how people would classify them. For example for me, the weather slowly changes over period of time. Just I don't have the opportunity to experience other seasons other than the ones we have in Singapore. But yeah, I guess you can picture how the weather changes over the seasons. People could slowly adapt to the slowly changing weather. They could get thicker clothes before it snows. They could prepare their coats and umbrellas out when it's autumn. They could go get bottles of sun tanning lotion for the summer. And stuff like that.

But what happens when the change is so sudden and out of the blue, it just spins you head round and you have not a clue what to react or what you could do?

It could maybe be relationship between people. Parents sudden realised that their child/children are finally grown up and it just seemed like yesterday that they was/were still being tugged into bed by them and things like that. How would anyone react? How would I react to such a change? I mean it's just an example. I asked myself this question then and I've realised that major, fast changes have been happening.

It leaves me cold. And yet the worse thing is that I really, really don't know what to do. Trying to salvage whatever that's left. But yet my efforts seem futile. I've been giving excuses for myself. For others. I'm running away from reality. "Facing it head on!", will be what most of you will say. But what's facing it head on and bits and pieces of you gets left behind. Other than running, I don't know what I could do. Other than pretending, I'll be able to keep the perfect image as memories.

On with life!

Hey fellas! Sorry for just deleting off my blog just like that. Somehow felt that the previous blogskin was....a little too bright. Hahas...It just doesn't suit me. Now this is more peaceful. No offence Minyi.

So anyways, Chinese New Year is around the corner! Sadly, I have not gotten my new year clothes. Tight on cash, like seriously. I think my pay's coming in soon? I think. Lols. Won't be spending too much though, just some norm guys stuff like semi-formal shirt, black skinny ( really need to get one ), belt....That's probably about it. Where is the money when you need it??

So coincidental, the first day of Chinese New Year is also Valentine's Day! Perhaps I should use whatever time that is left to learn to make something nice for all my pals. Right now, gifts to friends & family which is completed is only for one person. That's just pathetic. Lols....Need to hurry now. Reminds me that I have lots of shows I wanna watch. Hachiko, DearJohn, Valentines's Day. I wonder if Hachiko's still on. If not, great. I missed another great show. DearJohn....Hmmm, I doubt any guy will wanna sit through a romance movie with another guy and to be going alone seems so pathetic. Ohh well.... But no matter what, Valentine's Day is the show not to miss! Staring lots of big hits like Taylor Swift & Aston Kutcher.





Credits of pictures : DearJohn
Valentine's Day